BRITISH COLUMBIA
ASSOCIATION OF PEOPLE
WHO STUTTER

Speaking out for people who stutter

REPORT:
Camp BCAPS 2009
For Children who Stutter - July 10 to July 13
The “Magic” Continues

July 10-13, 2009, saw yet another realization of Les Anderson’s dream of a camp for children who stutter and their families to meet one another, share experiences, feel better about themselves and have fun.
    This year, Camp BCAPS was once again held at the Silver Lake Forestry Centre near Peachland, site of our inaugural 2001 and many subsequent camps. Silver Lake Facilities Manager Gary , Activities Coordinators Dave and Katie and Cook De Neige welcomed us all back with open arms, as did the rabbits who now call Silver Lake home and the cows we saw driving up the mountain to the camp. Life Guard/First Aid Attendant Mike kept us all safe and bandaged.


Skit Night Fun

    Silver Lake has a beautiful lodge, complete with dining room, sitting/meeting area with a majestic fireplace, a games room with a pool table, air hockey, card tables, “fooz” ball and a huge deck with a panoramic view of the lake.
    Camp BCAPS 2009 had some first timers who were made to feel part of the BCAPS family on the first day. Relatives of one family, who were visiting from Montreal, gave some of us an opportunity to practice our French. Experienced Camp BCAPS campers like Taylor and Katie continued to assume some of the leadership responsibilities and came up with new ideas for traditional Camp BCAPS activities. They were ably assisted by many returnees. Once again, special guest camper was Les Anderson himself who led everyone in singing his famous “Bottom of the Sea” song on the first night.
    New for this year, we all split up into teams, “Bears” for the Dads, “Cougars” for the Moms, “Beavers” for the Girls, “Wolverines” for the older Boys and “Coyotes” for the younger Boys. These teams competed for bragging rights throughout the Camp at educational workshops and recreational activities.
    Lisa Avery was Lead Camp Speech Language Pathologist, who returned after a 5 year hiatus. She was ably assisted by (then) soon-to-be-married Carla Monteleone and SLP Students Erynne Green and Allison Haas. Workshops included a discussion on school issues, role playing to learn strategies against teasing and bullying, parenting issues, Camp BCAPS traditional “Stuttering Jeopardy” and a quiz on  famous people who stutter (now including US Vice President Joe Biden). As always, parents had the opportunity to have private one on one meetings to discuss issues unique to their child.
    After the workshop on Positive Self-Talk, we all took part in skits to reinforce what we had learned before we had our traditional obstacle course with inspirational message puzzle. This year, we had the campers go through the course in relay, with a ball under their chin.
    Each night we had a “mug up” of cookies and hot chocolate and then “Smores” and marshmallows by the campfire to sing songs, tell jokes and perform skits.


The Sumo Wrestling Competition

    Apart from archery, badminton, tether ball, flashlight tag, volleyball, wall climbing, swimming and boating, Camp BCAPS had its inaugural “Sumo” wrestling competition. The card game “Spoons” was once again popular, and increasingly competitive, as the Camp wore on.
    In keeping with tradition, each child got a Camp BCAPS T-shirt, most generously provided by Bryan Sask and Key Innovations. Also in keeping with tradition, the children signed each other’s, in addition to adding their names to our Camp BCAPS banner, which now has in excess of 100 unique names!!!.  On the last night, there is still debate as to whether or not the boys did a better job at “getting” the girls or vice versa with their late night pranks.
    On the last day, “Camper of the Year” was awarded to Garrick. Every camper received recognition for their unique contribution to Camp BCAPS.
    Thank you Island Hearing Services and Speech Easy International for your much used water bottles. Thank you Surrey Golf Course for the flash light key chains and Terasen Gas for the note pads. We look forward to working with long time financial sponsors CKNW Orphans’ Fund and Variety Club next year to help make Camp BCAPS a reality and magical time for another year.
    For someone who was present in 1999 when Les Anderson said, “Wouldn’t it be a good idea if…”, I am pleased that what was created back then is still true today, namely  CAMP BCAPS is a summer outdoor experience for children who stutter and their families which provides a nurturing and supportive environment that is free from ridicule and judgement, fosters self-esteem and increased awareness about stuttering.

Anthony Intas, BCAPS

See 2005 Camp BCAPS video
This informative video is available in two formats and is 7:30 minutes long.

A mean looking bunch of SLPs

Reminiscences of the Camp BCAPS Lead SLP

Returning to the BCAPS Summer Camp this July, I was reminded why I enjoy this experience so much – it is one of the most valuable learning opportunities that I have as a Speech-Language Pathologist who is interested in fluency. 
    Renewing acquaintances with leaders, returning campers and families, and meeting new campers and families was the focus of the first day, while having fun, the focus for the following days. Reflecting back to my first experience five years ago, I was impressed with how many of the returning campers had matured into confident young adults, with impressive leaderships skills. Empowered by the milieu, they provided much of the structure for the more formal “seminars”, as well as the entertainment at campfire.
    I was delighted to be able to introduce Carla Monteleone, a local SLP interested in fluency, and Allison and Erynne, two UBC graduate SLP students, to the magic and unique experience for all that this camp offers.
    Thank you, BCAPS, for the invitation to participate once again, thank you, Les Anderson, for the discussions that have inspired me to consider information and ideas from new avenues of research, but most importantly, thank you to the campers and parents for sharing your stories with me. I continue to believe that our best teachers are those we serve, and the Camp BCAPS exemplifies this attitude.

Lisa Avery Speech-Language Pathologist

Two SLP Students, one summer camp, and lots of fun!

As we headed up into the hills behind Peachland (out of cell phone reception) we did not know what to expect.   Neither of us had been to summer camp for many years (we won’t say how many). With butterflies in our stomachs we pulled into the Silver Lake Forestry Centre to be greeted with a warm welcome from Camp BCAPS Coordinator Mia and the Teen Leaders who signed us in. 
    We were next introduced to a gregarious young gentleman named Taylor (with a shocking dye job) who proceeded to take us on a tour of the camp. Taylor is a seven year veteran of the Camp BCAPS and the more we got to know him, the more we were surprised to discover that this friendly and outgoing individual is a person who stutters. He blew away all our previous (and perhaps close-minded) ideas of what a person who stutters is like. 
    Other veterans of the camp who we met were Tony and Les, both adults who stutter, who made us feel very welcome and were eager to share their knowledge and first-hand accounts of what it means to be a person who stutters. Both men were leaders of the evening campfires with Tony preparing excellent marshmallow roasting sticks and Les confounding us all with one tongue-twister of a song. Les made a point of putting us SLPs to shame!
    During the days there were plenty of fun activities to engage in. These included seminars such as the Famous People Who Stutter Quiz and Positive Self-Talk Skits. It was great to see the older experienced teens taking on a leadership role in the camp and even running some of the seminars. Everyone really got into these games and there was friendly competition between the Moms (aka The Cougars), the Dads (aka The Bears), the girls (aka The Beavers), and the boys (aka The Coyotes/Wolverines) - all groups named by the teen leaders of course. The games were lots of fun and we learned new facts too! 
    We really enjoyed the parent only seminars where we were able to learn about all the concerns surrounding parenting a child who stutters. It was great to see the parents supporting each other, passing along tips about what has worked for their family and brain storming new ideas to try. Professional SLPs Lisa and Carla were there, to bounce ideas off and provide their input where necessary. It was great to work with both a very experienced fluency expert as well as a clinician newer to the fluency field. 
    While there was lots of information to be had, there was also tonnes of fun with canoeing, sumo wrestling, swimming, archery, an obstacle course, pudding eating contest, and delicious food. Oh and we can’t forget the intense games of Spoons. (If you don’t know what this is you’ll have to come to Camp BCAPS next year to find out.) This camp really broadened our perceptions about what stuttering is, the many different forms it can take, and the different ways it can affect an individual. We would definitely recommend the camp to both future clients who stutter as well as fellow SLPs.

Erynne Green & Allison Haas

Stuttering may be the result of a glitch in the day-to-day process by which cellular components in key regions of the brain are broken down and recycled, says a study in the Feb. 10 Online First issue of the New England Journal of Medicine.
    ÒThis is a very exciting discoveryÓ, said National Stuttering Association (NSA) Chairman Ernie Canadeo. ÒIt validates our view that stuttering has a genetic component, and that people who stutter canÕt help it. ItÕs part of their genes. I am proud that our organization and its members particapted in this important study."
    The study, led by researchers at the National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders (NIDCD), part of the National Institutes of Health, has identified three genes as a source of stuttering in volunteers in Pakistan, the United States, and England. Mutations in two of the genes have already been implicated in other rare metabolic disorders also involved in cell recycling, while mutations in a third, closely related, gene have now been shown to be associated for the first time with a disorder in humans.
    The study provides further evidence that stuttering is not a behavioral disorder but has as its origins, genetics manifesting in abnormal neuronal activity. We have learned much recently from brain imaging and pharmacologic studies that stuttering is associated with abnormal neurophysiology--how this relates directly to lysosomal function is an area which we definitely need to research further, said Gerald A. Maguire, M.D. Associate Professor of Clinical Psychiatry Kirkup Chair in Stuttering Treatment, Senior Associate Dean, Educational Affairs, University of California, Irvine School of Medicine.
    "For hundreds of years, the cause of stuttering has remained a mystery for researchers and health care professionals alike, not to mention people who stutter and their families," said James F. Battey, Jr., M.D., Ph.D., director of the NIDCD. "This is the first study to pinpoint specific gene mutations as the potential cause of stuttering, a disorder that affects 3 million Americans, and by doing so, might lead to a dramatic expansion in our options for treatment."
    Stuttering tends to run in families, and researchers have long suspected a genetic component. Previous studies of stuttering in a group of families from Pakistan had been done by Dennis Drayna, Ph.D., a geneticist with the NIDCD, which indicated a place on chromosome 12 that was likely to harbor a gene variant that caused this disorder.
    In the latest research, Dr. Drayna and his team refined the location of this place on chromosome 12 and focused their efforts on the new site. They sequenced the genes surrounding a new marker and identified mutations in a gene known as GNPTAB in the affected family members. The GNPTAB gene is carried by all higher animals, and helps encode an enzyme that assists in breaking down and recycling cellular components, a process that takes place inside a cell structure called the lysosome.
    They then analyzed the genes of 123 Pakistani individuals who stutter-46 from the original families and 77 who are unrelated-as well as 96 unrelated Pakistanis who don't stutter, and who served as controls. Individuals from the United States and England also took part in the study, 270 who stutter and 276 who don't. The researchers found some individuals who stutter possessed the same mutation as that found in the large Pakistani family. They also identified three other mutations in the GNPTAB gene which showed up in several unrelated individuals who stutter but not in the controls.
    These findings will help with early identification of stuttering so children can get the therapy and support they need at an early age, which can often lead to a better outcomes", said John A. Tetnowski, Ph. D, CCC-SLP, Director of Communicative Disorders, University of Louisiana at Lafayette and an NSA Board Member.
    Dr. Drayna and Dr. McGuire gave presentations, moderated by Dr. Tetnowski, at the National Stuttering AssociationÕs Research Symposium in Arizona last year and are scheduled to present the implications of these new findings on people who stutter at the NSAÕs Conference and Research Symposium in Cleveland this July. Over 600 people who stutter, their families, speech language pathologists, and others interested in stuttering typically attend the conference each year.
    Stuttering is a speech disorder in which a person repeats or prolongs sounds, syllables, or words, disrupting the normal flow of speech. It can severely hinder communication and a person's quality of life. Most children who stutter will outgrow stuttering, although many do not; roughly 1 percent of adults stutter worldwide. Current therapies for adults who stutter have focused on such strategies as reducing anxiety, regulating breathing and rate of speech, and using electronic devices to help improve fluency.
    The National Stuttering Association is a non-profit organization dedicated to bringing hope and empowerment to children and adults who stutter, their families, and professionals through support, education, advocacy, and research. It is represented by over 100 local chapters and support programs for children, families, teens, and adults throughout the United States. It was established in 1977.
    More information at www.westutter.org

NEWS: Camp BCAPS 2010 and AGM
August 5 to 8 at Camp Zacjac
Sign-in August 5, at 3pm
Camp over August 8, at 9am
All camp attendees & families welcomed to stay for BCAPS AGM. Register Now.

BCAPS Annual Refresher/General Meeting
August 8th, 2010, 9:30am
at the Zajac Ranch, Mission BC
Site of Camp BCAPS 2010.

AGENDA:
9:30-12:30 Stuttering Refresher
12:30-1:30 Lunch
1:30-2:30 Annual Public Speaking Contest
3:00-5:00 Annual General Meeting and election of President, Secretary and Treasurer
5:00-6:00 BBQ.

Attendees are welcomed to arrive the day before and/or stay that night for $10 per person. Zajac Ranch only has one RV spot.....so first come, first served. For more information contact:
Mia Austinson, BCAPS President
maustinson@shaw.ca
778-220-3940. or 250-578-0427

Note: Anyone interested to put their name forward for any of the open Board positions is asked to contact BCAPS President Mia Austinson

President's choice cartoonist

President's Message:
May is Speech and Hearing Month: "New Goals and Beginnings"

It has been my pleasure to watch BCAPS grow into an incredible association for people who stutter within many communities throughout BC. My most memorable memory was our first BCAPS Camp at Silverlake and my most memorable experience was public speaking on behalf of BCAPS at the Donner Foundation Awards. Through the many experiences with BCAPS, I have gained a tremendous amount of knowledge about people who stutter and about myself as a person who stutters. When my daughter was born with a stutter, I naturally became an advocate for her and in return, my position as BCAPS President folded into a passion, not a job. It has been an honor to lead such an outstanding association!
    BCAPS continually strives to help people who stutter by providing yearly financial assistance for Speech Therapy. As a non-profit association, we have an allotted yearly budget for financial assistance. To date, we have managed to use our yearly funds for many individuals and families who would otherwise not receive Speech Therapy. We are happy to report great success with those individuals who send us Thank You letters. It is through the continued gratitude of those we help that we strive to create BCAPS the best association that we can.
    2010 marks a year for new goals and possibly new beginnings. BCAPS invites people who stutter to take on a new challenge for themselves: join our team and see where your passion takes you. As a BCAPS board member, you will learn more about yourself as a person who stutters than ever imagined. It is an opportunity to gain self-confidence within your home and at work. Moreover, it is an opportunity to help others who stutter. There is nothing greater than helping people change their lives by being part of the process that creates a difference.
    Another great way to get involved with BCAPS is to assist with our BCAPS Camp: set for August 6-8th, 2010 at Zajac Ranch, Mission, BC. Camp applications via our BCAPS website or you may call me 778-220-3940. We look forward to hearing from you,

Regards,
Mia Austinson
BCAPS President

PS: at the top of this column are a couple of cartoons by Mike Peters, a syndicated political cartoonist and creator of the Mother Goose & Grim comic strip. He has received the Pulitzer Prize for editorial cartooning. He is also a person who Stutters.. Here is a brief version of Mike's story.
Mike Peters has been interested in cartooning, and particularly political cartooning, since childhood. Born October 9, 1943, Mike was educated in his birthplace of St. Louis, MO, where he graduated from Christian Brothers College High School in 1961. In 1965 he was awarded the degree of Bachelor of Fine Arts from Washington University and immediately began his career on the art staff of the Chicago Daily News. The following year he began two years of service with the U.S. Army as an artist for the Seventh Psychological Operations Group in Okinawa. After Vietnam, his mentor, the renowned W.W. II artist Bill Mauldin, helped him find a cartooning position on the Dayton Daily News in 1969. That was the beginning. In 1972, his editorial cartoons became syndicated nationally. In 1981 Mike was awarded a Pulitzer Prize for Journalism and in 1984 the award-winning Mother Goose & Grimm comic strip was born -- all with the help of Marian, his wife, best friend and business partner of 35 years.
    Mike's political cartoons, syndicated by King Features Syndicate, appear in over 400 newspapers worldwide. His political work is featured frequently in such publications as Newsweek, Time, U.S. News and World Report, and The New Republic (several of which have also featured him in articles about political cartoonists). Peters is particularly proud of his animated editorial cartoons, "Peters Postscripts" which aired on NBC's Nightly News in 1981. It was the first time animated editorial cartoons appeared regularly on a prime-time network news program. Peters also has done a 14-part interview series, The World of Cartooning with Mike Peters, for PBS.
    Mother Goose & Grimm appears in over 800 newspapers worldwide and consistently places in the top 10 most popular ratings. Licensees distribute Grimmy products all over the world, and the Grimmy TV show continues to air in several countries.

HCRI, claims 93% success in helping people who stutter acheive fluent speach

At Hollins Communications Research Institute (HCRI), scientists have developed a powerful, innovative stuttering treatment program featuring new behavioral, electronic and computer technologies that significantly improve the learning and retention of fluent speech.

Stuttering Chat

Stuttering Chat is a weekly live chat every Thursday, at 5 pm. People who stutter and speech pathologists are always welcome to join in. http://www.freewebs.com/stutteringsteve/index.htm
      Meet other stutters around the world and chat about the challenges of stuttering. Learn how others deal with their speech in a supportive setting. On occasions SLP are invited to partake in the conversation.
       For more details contact Steve Blessinger at sbless88@hotmail.com or Mary Rose Labandelo at 778-384-1065.

UNSPEAKABLE the film now available in DVD
DVDs of Unspeakable are now available in Canada.
People can order them from the NFB by phone at 1-800-267-7710
0r at www.nfb.ca The price is about $19.
The UNSPEAKABLE DVD is also available from the BCAPS Library at no charge. Contact Jack Beeksma

UNSPEAKABLE - THE FILM
Stuttering is as old as human speech. The biblical Moses stuttered. Winston Churchill, Marilyn Monroe, King George VI and James Earl Jones were also afflicted with the disorder--yet it remains a medical enigma. Unspeakable examines the nature, history and treatment of a speech impediment that affects about 1% of the world?s population regardless of language, culture, class or ethnicity.

Throughout the ages there have been all sorts of explanations for what causes stuttering but attempts at curing it have been as frustrating as finding its cause. While stuttering inevitably causes emotional distress, which aggravates the disorder, there is no evidence that it is a personality disorder. Speech therapy for preschoolers who stutter can be quite effective but treatment for older children and adults is often frustrating and disappointing.

John Paskievich, the film's director, is a person who stutters. He also narrates and is an active participant in the film.

British Columbia Public Sector Speech-Language Pathology Adult Services Council

The purpose of the Council is to identify and monitor issues relating to public sector speech-language pathology services for adults in British Columbia and to advocate for the resolution of these issues.
      The Council envisions public sector speech-language pathology services that are appropriate, comprehensive and easy to access. The Council is a strong network linking public sector speech-language pathologists serving adults and strives to provide leadership on issues concerning communication and swallowing disorders.
      The council believes that communication and swallowing are important to a person's health and well being. They also believe that comprehensive public health care should be universally available to all Canadians and that appropriate services should be cost-effective and of a high standard.
      To learn more abut the British Columbia Public Sector Speech-Language Pathology Adult Services Council, its structure and activities www.bcaslpa.bc.ca/speechlinks.htm

Barbara Cousins - Chair (250) 558-1200 Ext. 1253
Cindy Reynolds - Vancouver Coastal Health Region (250) 984-5747
Beth Hillhouse - Northern Health Region (250) 565-2615
Rachel Jansen - Interior Health Region (250) 368-3311 Ext. 2290
Lisa Fishman - Fraser Health Authority (604) 585-5666 Ext. 2941
Valerie MacGillivary - Vancouver Island Health Authority (250) 370-8730

BCAPS Teacher Education Program

We are now ready to move ahead to our next stage in the development of the Teacher Education Program! At the August 2004 Annual Refresher weekend, the BCAPS Board reviewed the project proposals and decided to utilize a video tape developed by the Stuttering Foundation of America, and to augment this video with a workbook and summary sheet that will focus on the specific challenges that children in British Columbia face. The video entitled "Stuttering: Straight Talk for Teachers" has useful information for teachers and is very affordable so we will be able to provide several copies to each school district. The target completion date for distribution of the materials to all school districts in British Columbia is the fall of 2005.
      We are currently establishing a committee to create and produce the written materials. And we are seeking the assistance of children who stutter, parents of children who stutter, teachers who stutter and other teachers and educators in the creation of the workbook and summary sheet.
      We invite anyone interested to contact Lisa (tel: 604-714-0945; email: averyl@interchangel.ubc.ca). To date, Heba Ghobrial, Sharon Goodman, and Jeannette Gobolos have expressed interest in assisting with this project.

Lisa Avery and Sandi Bojm

Editors Note:
Within the BCAPS community, we have teachers who stutter, teachers who are parents of children who stutter, Speech Language Pathologists who stutter, parents of school age children who stutter and every possible permutation and combination in between. BCAPS is very excited about this project and we encourage you to lend your support with your ideas, opinions, comments and time to help make this important undertaking the best that it can be. BCAPS wishes to thank the Vancouver Foundation for it's matching grant of up to $7,500 towards this project.

Stuttering Foundation of China

Hi! My name is Ray Tong. I am a stutterer from China, and I am the president of the Stuttering Foundation of China (SFC). SFC is a public, nonprofit support organization for the stutterers in China.
      Our goal is provide the best and most up-to-date information to every Chinese stutterer, help available for the prevention of stuttering in young children and the most effective treatment available for teenagers and adults in China.
      Now we are working hard to translate world's best and most up-to-date information about stuttering into Chinese and publish them on our official web site ' http://www.okoci.org'. Most of the information was translated from the materials provided by the Stuttering Foundation of America (SFA).
      We are also preparing to construct a national self-help Association of Chinese stuterers, named the Real Stutterers Association of China (RSAC)

Friends Stuttering Presentation Guide

FRIENDS encourages its young members to be open about their stuttering. One way we suggest they can do this is to make a presentation to their class about the nature of stuttering and their experience with it. It is a great way to get on top of the problem and to silence their peers who want to tease them at the same time. We have a guide (www.friendswhostutter.org) you can download to help with such a presentation.

"Ssstutter" – A Short Documentary Film

Not long into their year in Vancouver Film School's Film Production program, director Bruce Oothout and producer Youssef El-Khoury had a documentary to make and a subject in mind: stuttering. Both had stuttered when they were young, and here was their chance to open some eyes.
      The result is a nine-minute documentary called "Ssstutter". The original plan called for many interviews, and Oothout and El-Khoury began reaching out to the Vancouver speech therapy community. Then they found Hannah Seaman.
      The 16-year-old from Langley, BC was a revelation - direct, articulate, and instantly likeable – and the filmmakers realized that the best thing to do was to simply put her on screen and let her speak for herself.
      "People were riveted, moved, amazed, by Hannah," Oothout says. "Her courage, her character, her will; it was hard not to be both deeply impressed and somewhat in awe of her as a person." "So we went with that."

This information was supplied by Thuy Khuc, Advertising and PR Coordinator, Marketing, Vancouver Film School.
To view this film click on this link or go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7KtncNtL-SI

Rossilyn's Story:
FROM THE INSIDE LOOKING OUT: A Speech-Language Pathologist's real life practicum into the world of head injury and stuttering. by Rosslyn Delmonico

INTRODUCTION
For many readers, stuttering has come to be a part of your life. It may be something that you are at peace with and/or it may be something that you are still trying to work through. As a speech-language pathologist, I have had the privilege to work with many clients who are dysfluent. However, I could not have anticipated that one day I would be one of my own clients. Yet four years ago, as a result of a fall down a flight of stairs, I found myself trying to recuperate from a head injury. One of my initial symptoms was ..... stuttering.
      The following is an updated article that I wrote for a national magazine on the topic of head injury. It includes reflections on my personal experience with stuttering. I hope that it will be of encouragement to you!

THE FALL
It was Christmas Day 2005. The holiday festivities had gone on much as they normally do in our family: early morning presents under the tree, then off to Gramma's house (still in our pajamas) for her special hotcakes and syrup. After a quiet time at home, we headed off for the second round of family celebrations; an evening of games, music, and a well-tended turkey dinner!
      Later that evening, with my tummy full, I headed upstairs for a fresh cup of coffee. After a short visit with the women in the kitchen, I headed back down to the family room. As I rounded the corner on the top landing, my heel caught in the carpet and I felt myself being thrown through the air into a somersault. My head hit the stair with a thud and I immediately started into a second roll. My right hip hit hard. I grabbed frantically trying to take hold of something; anything to stop the fall but there was nothing. The carpet ran through my fingertips futilely. I became keenly aware of what was happening as my head took another whack. I had such momentum gaining that I knew I was not going to stop this accident from happening so I thought that I had better try to relax and take the hits as best I could. I was going to the bottom and in that split second, I wondered whether I would be alive at the end of it. The hip took another blow and then my head smacked the side of the wall with such force that it punched a hole in the gyproc the size of a baseball. Thoughts raced through my mind - "Oh-oh. THAT one was BAD. It's really going to hurt!"
      One more hit to the hip and then the side of my head struck the concrete based tile flooring at the bottom. There I lay with my head on the lower landing and my body strewn in various angles up the stairwell. It must have been quite a sight for the others. For me, the lights went out. Then I heard someone yelling, "Auntie Rosslyn..fall...okay....move her..no..can you hear me.. Rosslyn!!!" I opened my eyes and gazed up at sea of faces.
      I was helped onto the couch and was promptly treated for shock. As a number of my Nieces and Nephews have medical training, they strongly encouraged my Husband to call an ambulance. David, my husband of 25 years, was in denial and possibly a little in shock as well. In any case, he sat with a watchful eye over me for about two hours. I tried to get up on my own 2-3 times but immediately felt dizzy and weak. Finally, I said, "David, I think my Christmas is done. Can you take me home?" With support, I tried to stand and walk to the door. My hip gave out first and I was sure that it was either broken or at least dislocated. My body started to collapse like a wet noodle. David willed me forward saying, "You can do it! Keep walking!" Then, suddenly,my upper body started to bob up and down from the waist like a chicken pecking for seed. My legs gave way completely. Someone yelled, "Call an ambulance!!". My body went into post-traumatic shock; my appendages jerked out of control and my breathing became short and faint. The firemen and paramedics were there within minutes and I was being whisked off to emergency. Merry Christmas! I finally got home at 5:00 the next morning.
      For the first few weeks, my world became a dreamland of doctors appointments, CT scans, physiotherapy appointments, and x-rays. My doctor said that the way I landed, I was very lucky not to have died or at least broken my neck. My first blessing came when I was told that my hip was neither broken nor dislocated; a miracle in itself. However, I had a partially dislocated shoulder, and a concussion. There was concern that I may have a brain bleed. I couldn't walk independently as my balance was significantly impaired. I felt like that wooden puppet I kept watching on the muscle relaxant commercials. My body had become like a rickety old train clacking on and off of its tracks. It clicked and creaked in ways that I could never have imagined.
      More tests and my second blessing came when all of the results came up okay. I didn't appear to have a brain bleed. I thought, "Great, a few weeks of rest and I should be good to go!". Unfortunately, neither my body nor my brain were on board with this decision. Below I will provide you with a short summary of the main symptoms I experienced post trauma and then will go into more detail in relation to my period of dysfluency.

OTHER SYMPTOMS
Initially, mobility was one of my greatest challenges. With periodic episodes of dizziness, I felt like an inebriated person staggering out of control as my hands flailed out in an attempt to steady myself. If it had not been so tragic, the physiological symptoms were at times entertaining. For example, have you ever felt like you have a helicopter propeller whirling around in your head? Have you ever felt the "heebee jeebees" jiggle up your back or tingles at the base of your skull? Have you ever heard the wind blowing through your ears when the air is silent or have you ever experienced isolated vibrations on random parts of your skull like a guppy swimming through water? Well, I have! It felt like my brain was literally short-circuiting.
      My emotions for the first couple of months were raw and vulnerable. I was fragile and easily overwhelmed. I struggled with depression and a sense of isolation. It was difficult to concentrate and processing complicated information was draining. My reading comprehension, spelling, and memory skills were impaired. I was no longer the person who could multi-task with ease and life became difficult as I attempted to find meaning and purpose to this new stage of my life.

DYSFLUENCY
Shortly after the fall, I developed one other symptom. I stuttered! These "dysfluent moments" came out of nowhere. There was nothing that I could do to anticipate their arrival and the harder I tried to control them, the worse they became. There are two episodes that stand out vividly in my mind.
      On one occasion, I was calling my hair stylist for an appointment and at that very moment my speech started to become dysfluent. The receptionist asked me to repeat myself. My second attempt became even more laboured and incoherent. The receptionist grew increasingly agitated as I tried to speak again. Her frustration only caused my thoughts to go blank. My mind became a fog. I was not only struggling to get the words out but now I was not even sure what I was trying to say. After a couple of more feeble attempts to communicate, I hung up the phone and had a good cry.
      On a second occasion, I recall a situation with my colleagues. It was shortly after the trauma and two of my co-workers had come to my home to bring a get-well gift. I had spent weeks in pajamas or leisure clothes but on that day, I got all dressed up for my visitors! I was so excited to show them how well I was doing but when I started to speak, the dysfluency reared its ugly head. They looked at me and at each other. With frustration, I pressed in harder. I wanted to be normal. I was going to will myself into it. Bad choice. The harder I tried, the worse my processing and fluency became. My colleagues looked at me with sympathy and concern. Oh, that frustrated me! I didn't want their sympathy and I didn't want to be treated like an invalid! My joy and excitement for their company vanished; being replaced with hopelessness and despair that lingered long after they left.
      I tell you of these two scenario's in order to highlight the following issues:

FOR THOSE WHO STUTTER
1. You have the choice to decide how you are going to let negative experiences impact you: For example, it was my choice to allow the receptionist's lack of understanding and impatience to get the better of me. I could have focused on truth rather than circumstances. Truth was, the woman was doing what busy people do; trying to get the job done fast. Truth was, I was doing the best that I could. Truth was, no one could take away my dignity without my permission.
2. You have the choice to use strategies that can make your speech more fluent. For me, I learned that trying to "push through" was a bad decision. It was like trying to press into a bad cut when water skiing. That only leads to a "wipe out"! In time, I learned that when the "dysfluent moments" occurred, I could show myself grace. I could decide how much I wanted or didn't want to engage in the conversation. I didn't let anyone take this opportunity away from me. I took the time to think through what I wanted to say. I allowed myself to feel comfortable with the "pregnant pauses", and used fluency techniques like "stretching" out my words with "light touches" to make my speech more fluent.
3. You have the choice to live life to the fullest or to allow circumstances to control you. So let me ask you a few questions. How old are you? What is your life expectancy? What do you want those years to look like? When it is all said and done, what will be your triumphs and how would you like to be remembered? The reason I bring this up is because everyone has an Achilles heel, or an area in their life that could be seen as limiting/disabling. However, the way our life turns out has everything to do with our choices and our attitudes. We can chose to limit our potential because of our own mindset or other people's limitations. However, we also have the option to change our way of thinking, set boundaries on other people's limitations and exercise our ability to lead a free and productive life; with or without the disabilities!
4. Set goals for yourself but make them realistic and attainable. I once spoke to a fellow colleague about this issue. He happened to be a person who stutters. We were attending a course together and for the first 3-4 days his speech was completely fluent. In fact, none of the other speech pathologists picked on the speech impediment. As the days in the workshop wound to a close, my friend let his guard down and at the same time, his episodes of stuttering increased. On the groups final night arrived we decided to go out together and celebrate the week long training. It was a festive affair. While in the restaurant, my colleagues' speech became noticeably more dysfluent. The next day I spoke with him about it. I asked him why his fluency decreased so significantly. He candidly stated that he chose not to manage his fluency that night. He felt safe in a group of supportive friends and his goal was ...to not have a goal. I thought "Wow! Good for you! How empowering is that!" 

FOR THE CONVERSATION PARTNERS
1. Be patient and show grace. There are many thoughts that can go through a person's mind when his/her speech becomes dysfluent. Please be patient and show grace by allowing the individual the same amount of time that you would want if you were struggling in some way. For example, would you be impatient with a person on crutches who is moving as quickly as they possibly can? Of course not! You would be patient and allow them the time that they need to get to where they're going. Would you finish off another person's sentence if they were taking a moment to pause and think through their thoughts? Of course not! You would wait for them to finish their thought and then speak. So why would it be any different for a person who stutters?
2. Be aware of your potential to influence another person: Many people who stutter suffer in silence as a result of negative experiences that may have been discouraging or humiliating. As a result of my head injury, I had many moments where I felt like my integrity was being ripped away from me; if not by someone else - by my own negative self talk. The loss of this part of a person can be devastating.
3. Find out the facts: I encourage you to educate yourself on truths about what stuttering is and what it is not. Actually, I am going to suggest something for you. It is a very practical and wonderful assignment for those who wish to better understand the life of a person who stutters.  This assignment was given in one of my graduate classes and it ended up changing my view on the topic of stuttering ever since. Here it is:
   a. Select one of your days off to do this assignment.
   b. Make a decision to spend the day out in the public arena.
   c. Give yourself 3-5 opportunities to talk with a complete stranger for 1-2 minutes each (i.e. at the grocery check out line, at the bank, in the restaurant, on the phone, at the gas station).
   d. While you are speaking with these people, allow yourself to stutter for the entire time that you are interacting with them. 
*I would suggest that you may need to practice stuttering at home to make it look authentic. You may even want to look in a mirror to work on maintaining eye contact with the listener while you practice some easy repetitions or blocks. For example, "E-e-e-excuse me. C-c-c-could I pl-please pay ooooff this c-c-c-redit amount?". While you are doing this assignment, I ask you to hold true to the commitment to complete the task, no matter how uncomfortable it is for you. I would ask that you observe the listeners face, tone of voice, and body language; take in the whole experience to make every nuance count. 
   e. When you get home that day, grab a cup of tea and a cozy blanket while you journal your thoughts about the experience.
       I can tell you that this one small assignment given by my very wise professor was worth more than any three hundred page text book that I could have read. If you really want to understand the path of another person sometimes the best thing that you can do is to walk in their shoes...even if just for a short while.
4. Having completed the above assignment, I would like to add one other little piece of helpful information on the topic of communication. It has to do with the fact that we often have the ability to speak without opening our mouths. Did you know that 60% of our communication comes from our body language, 30% comes from our tone of voice, and a mere 10% comes from the words that we speak? If you don't believe me, just go sit in the mall for a 1/2 hour and do your own research. It can be quite entertaining; especially with a group of young teenage shoppers! One flicker of the eye, or one shrug of the shoulder can say a thousand words. 
      So the next time that you happen to have the privilege to speak with a person who stutters, take note that your communication (spoken or silent) is coming out loud and clear.

FINAL THOUGHTS
On Christmas Day 2005, I started on a journey, which few speech-language pathologists have ever had the opportunity to travel. It was a real life practicum in the areas of head injury and dysfluency. I am grateful for it being a part of my life. Every experience we have is there for a reason. It's up to us to enjoy the good and learn from the bad. Because of this time in my life, I have gained a deeper appreciation for my health and for the time that I spend with those I love. As a clinician, I empathize with my clients from a whole new perspective. I understand the grief and sense of loss. I understand the fear and isolation. If my vulnerability and honesty can make one of my clients feel more at ease or better understood, then I am happy.
      Thank you for taking the time to read these personal reflections. One is always wise to inform themselves of these stories while remembering that "there but for the grace of God go I". Every day of health that we have the pleasure to enjoy is truly a gift. Any aspect of our life (including stuttering) can be seen as an "unfortunate circumstance" OR a "wonderful opportunity" to grow as an individual. In so doing, we leave a legacy which is rich with strength and courage; a journey called "THE STORY OF OUR LIFE".
      So remember to "capture the moments"! Every single one of them................ because life is good!

Rosslyn Delmonico